AIDS isn't funny!!!

AIDS is so un-funny that it's actually kind of funny. Like back in school when I would just wear my long johns and dance around my apartment and using a screechy voice to taunt my roommate. "I'm the HIV, I'm in your blood stream because you had sex with a questionable girl and almost certainly didn't use a condom." See that's really pretty not funny, except he did have sex with questionable women and sometimes he didn't wear condoms. So we laughed and laughed till the point of tears. I know what you're going to ask next, no he didn't have AIDS...he had cancer...he's dead.

Which brings me to my next point. Last night we played "That's How We Roll", have you bowled against them yet? Oh you must...pre-bowl and not show up if you ever have to. What a sorry bunch of sad sacks. Their name shouldn't be THWR, it should be "This is How We Suck Any And All Enjoyment Out Of Bowling" or you can use the acronym C.U.N.T.S. Yeah I know the letters don't match up, it's a good word and incredibly descriptive. Bowling them was about as much fun as having to listen to El Presidente tell you about the time he scored a 308 while delivering a baby.

Here's how it went down:

First off The Wallendas were sad that Brett "Glass Wall" Barkley pre-bowled and so was not in attendance. TBW was looking forward to the full body muscle spasm that is his throw. At no point will any part of his body cross the foul line. I'm pretty sure as a child he did that once in a Father/Son bowling tournament and spent a week chain to a post in the basement while his father poured honey and ants on him to teach him the true meaning of foul. No really his foul line avoidance is pathological.

So no Glass Wall, instead we were treated to the remaining three team members in this order:

Ryan "I'm Not Zach Galafinakis God damnit" McMillan- Ryan seems nice enough right? He sees his kid before games, hugs her shows her around, she's adorable. I'm fairly certain both the kid and wife caught a major beating last night. You do not want to be around Ry-Ry when he's having an off night, or maybe you do. During game 2 (the only game they won by the way) Zac...er...I mean Ryan threw an unimpressive strike ball and garnered himself 4 pins. No biggee I do it all the time. Well apparently he's only been throwing 300 games his entire career because after that throw he grabbed his bag and stomped out of Bayshore. I kid you not. IT...WAS...AWESOME!!! Eventually he picked up that spare.

Todd "I Cheer Only When My Opponents Do Poorly" Schwartz - Which bowler was spotted cursing when Heather "Doc" Krull picked up a fairly difficult spare? If you guessed Hotty Toddy then you would be right. Does he ever smile? He always seems on the verge of tears. Offer a word of encouragement he ignores you.

Anthony "Fuck You Cancer" Esquibel - Now Anthony was a bright spot, he's a good bowler and he played along. Also it turns out when he found out he had cancer he only took one TNT season off and that wasn't even for treatment. It was so he could hunt humans on a island in the pacific. When he got back stateside he removed that cancer with a rusty bread knife and mirror. He then fed the cancer to a hobo, and then killed the hobo. This guy fucking hates hoboes.

I suppose not helping the situation was some ass clown humping the ball return for even the most minimal frames. Although that jackass wasn't helped by the other idiots on his team, upon seeing how angry THWR were getting, encouraging him to increase and not let up the idiocy.

Also not helping were the huge games posted by Chris "Brooklyn Trashman" Jones and Adam "Guv" Gard.

The Trashman is fresh off of a stint in rehab for a glue sniffing addiction. Worried that not having the glue in his system his bowling might suffer he instead decided to huff a little paint. Well it worked, his first game was stellar and delivered a knock-out blow that THWR never recovered from. But the paint wore off and he posted okay for him numbers the last two games. He was last spotted outside a hobby shop pacing frantically.

The Guv had a weird night. He got to the alley late because he was busy fighting Triads in San Pedro and his night looked to be an uphill battle. He didn't strike once during the entire first game. When he did finally strike the crowd erupted like I had thrown it. Game 2 was a rebuilding game and game three was made into his bitch.

So that's how it went, TBW are back in the championship hunt. They're upset that BDS has to miss next week and are frantically trying to put together a both teams pre-bowl together game.