Hotly Anticipated Match Will Be A Bust!!!

It was supposed to be a match for the ages. Grandparents would tell their grandkids about it. It would be spoken about in hushed whispers whenever the players passed:

"He/She was one of the bowlers that night."
"Which night? Oh you mean the night..."
"Shhh they'll hear you and have your guts for garters. I was there, I saw it all...it was spectacular"

But no more. Now when people speak of the BDS v TBW match-up they'll tell two tales. One will involve being at the bowling alley in the middle of the day watching three guys bowl and try to be excited and the other will involve being at Bayshore on league night watching TBW and Hacksaw slug it out on what I assume are lanes 8 and 9 (we always get those busted up lanes).

Under advice from legal counsel BDS is skipping Thursday and pre-bowling. Their lawyer wants them to have nothing to do with El Presidente and his witch hunt. Only Hacksaw stands defiant, boldly proclaiming that "I WILL BE THERE THURSDAY, mostly because I've got nothing else going on that night and Friends has been off the air for like years now."

When people ask me why I advised my clients to avoid the hearing, they pepper it with comments like "Oh are you scared of BDS?" To all my detractors I say this:

"HELLS NO FOOLIOS!!!"

I wish I could bowl against those sons a bitches but I gots to be true to my clients. Whether we win or lose against the Back Door crew it always proves to be an epic evening laced with profanity, alcohol, and strike city. But some members of the team could prove troublesome during the hearing. Every one knows I'm talking about Parish. He's a hot head and when El Prez starts grilling those boys about the sponsorship deal he'll blow his lid. He more than anyone has been working this Coors deal for months now and to see TNT try and take it all away, well it's just plain silly. So I'm glad they went into hiding, hopefully a little fast talking at this hearing and that Coors deal with be right back where it's supposed to be, in BDS hands.

Don't think I'm doing this out of altruism either. I'm getting a hefty slice of that deal. Plus winning this hearing will open the door for my own team's sponsorship deal(s). That's right piggies I said deals, plural. We'll be raking in the dough. DOLLAR DOLLAR BILLS YA'LL!!!