NIK WALLENDA!!! MAKES HISTORY!!! EL PRESIDENTE LICKS HIS WOUNDS! WHAT ARE WE WATCHING? AND SPANISH FOR BEGINNERS!

Adam Gard was busy captaining and doesn't have time to be a Goodwill Ambassador, plus Nik was afraid he'd fall if the Dog was there, judging him.

Nik Wallenda!!! made history this past Sunday as he walked across a section of the Grand Canyon and TBW!!! Was there to witness the momentous feat. Nik specifically asked for us to be there so we loaded ourselves onto our WallendaGlide* (if we don’t go green, how can expect emerging economies to follow suit?) and took a 3 hour glide to our destination. Where we watched Nik balance and walk his way into history and into America’s heart. A quick photo-op and it was back to LA. Sadly team captain Adam Gard Dog Gard couldn’t go since he was assembling game tape on Blue Collar Balls so Stunt Cock went in his place.

The glide had me thinking- What are the Wallendas!!! doing with their free time besides recording multi-platinum albums? So I walked around the spacious 200,000 sq yd WallendaGlide and peeked in on the other members of the team.

Trashman Jones seems to really dig Tyler Perry movies. “Finally, the black population of America has their own Woody Allen.” He said as he popped “Good Deeds” into his blu-ray player.

Stuntcock claims he only watches documentaries about the fashion industry, but I glimpsed him watching “Cocoon II : The Return” and weeping gently.

Heather “Doc” Krull had her DVD library stocked up with only episodes of “Malcolm in the Middle” and was very unapologetic about it.

After my recon was done I texted Gard Dog to get an idea of what he watches in his spare time, his response was this: South African comedies.

Me personally, I only watch romantic comedies. If it stars Sandra Bullock all the better, I like it when she gets the guy in the end. My team thinks it’s because I’m a hopeless romantic, but it’s really because I don’t understand how social interaction between human beings works.

Blue Collar Balls tonight. Dumb name, bad team and a look towards putting four more points on the leaderboard.

Meister out

*The WallendaGlide was built with the idea of Flying Squirrels. So we actually used 1,342,673 actual flying squirrels in the make-up of the craft. They form the wings and even the interior walls are all squirrel fur. PETA has called our craft a menace to the animal kingdom and ELF has condemned and praised us all at once, their exact press release had this snippet:

The Bowling Wallendas!!! are one of the most egregious eco-terrorist groups ever to exist. In building their “green craft” they raped mother earth of so many bright flying squirrel lives and created more greenhouse gases in a single day than the big three polluting nations do in a month. But having seen the contraption in action we marvel at it’s beauty, comfort, and overall eco-friendliness. We’re torn, we should probably disband.