Dateline- RIGHT FUCKING NOW
THIS SHIT IS SERIOUSLY FUCKED!!!
Did you know why you didn't see BDS at TNT last Thursday? Because the corruption experts pulled their super awesome trick of "the lanes are messed up" crap again. That's two weeks in a row that the two greatest teams ever to bowl in this corrupt league haven't played on the same night. Did you also notice in that same time span that the Dow Jones industrial average has lost over 1100 points? RAND Scientists are working with DARPA to test the links behind this "coincidence". Guess what science nerds, I already crunched the numbers on my slide rule and you know what I discovered?
WHEN BDS AND TBW DON'T BOWL THE SAME NIGHT SHIT GETS WONKY ON WALL STREET!!!!
No need for you to conitnue your useless exercise, maybe you can get back to not finding a cure for cancer. I'm certain you can use your massive craniums to come up with even better boner pills. You're all a bunch of linuses.
Well guess what TNT? This Thursday marks the return of TBW and BDS bowling on the same night? Will there be huge gains Friday in the market? I won't promise anything. Both teams have decided to stay out of politics since we are getting ZERO support from congress regarding El Presidente and Il Padrino's massive amounts of corruption. We are but voices in the wilderness and when the time comes that congress and old 'Bama himself come calling for favors we'll just jump on our waterslides.
Beyond the regular amounts of corruption facing both of these incredibly handsome teams is a new threat:
Heather "Don't Want No Scrubs" Krull was FUCKING ATTACKED BY 68 NINJAS ARMED WITH NINJA STARS!!!
While walking home from the theater where she enjoyed "Crazy Stupid Love" 68 Ninjas wearing crazy ninjas outfits jumped off the Kirk Douglas Theater and attacked her. She valiantly fought off 67 of them but the last one, before running like the cowardly cur he( or she, cause they were in ninja clothes it's hard to tell) is, threw a ninja star that reactivated an old back injury she suffered while rescuing drowning puppies.
Luckily Ryan "it's time for you to go downtown" Adams is offering his axe, and not a moment too soon. He had to hightail it out of Mexico because apparently he knocked up some drug lord's mistress. In his words:
"Dude she was fine cherry wine, and you know I just had to have a taste. I don't see why he's all upset, she's a grown ass woman."
So he's ready to roll and Wallendas take on TNT walkabouts AWOL.
No comments:
Post a Comment