Dateline Los Angeles California April 19, 2011
In a stunning turn of events Back Door Santa All-Star and Full-Time Goof Off Dynamite Chris Parish was arrested in West Hollywood in an apparent sting operation. For seven months West Hollywood Police in co-operation with the LAPD and FBI have been monitoring the activities of "The Boing Boing Club" for what they deem impersonations of reggae drag queens. West Hollywood PD released this statement:
"These guys will pretend they're drag queens and fleece club goers for
hundreds of dollars. It's an abomination on our quiet community."
Dynamite himself claims he wasn't an active participant and was lured to the club by a note:
He went to the club because after getting the note his phone rang and a muffled voice told him to be at the Boing Boing Club with e-mail addresses of people who weren't currently on a Verizon wireless plan. He further went on to state that the only reason he dressed all "rasta" was because he'd heard of the boing boing club and wanted to blend in.
Suspicions have arisen as to who the mysterious E.P. is. Early reports indicate it may be the infamous El Presidente. BDS team members have also accused The Bowling Wallendas because as Parish also noted:
"Heather recently found out I know how to read, pretty weird
her finding that out and me getting a note all in the same week."
Adam "I wasn't Elected but I'm Still The Guv" Gard rebukes those claims:
"If he can read then I'm Linda Ronstadt."
Adam also called up BDS legal counsel and founding member of the Beach Patrol Kevin "I've got a built in nickname" Meister and told him merely "It's time to investigate."
With the championships looming this Thrusday and The Bowling Wallendas facing off against BDS the whole world is waiting and watching to see what happens next. Before yesterday's arrest China was ready to un-peg the yuen from the U.S. Dollar and base their currency solely on the abilities of The Bowling Wallendas, now those plans could be in doubt.
We'll keep you posted.
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