BILFS Have Like The Biggest Week Ever In the History of the World!!! And That Ain't No Chicken Joint

After one of the biggest wins of their career, BILFs ringleader and snappy dresser Kevin Meister hit a low spot.

                     "I was standing there talking to a buddy, we looked out the front
                      window of the bar. WTF!!! It's fucking Tony Cortese and
                      Mr. Corruption himself El Presidente Rue Meade stealing my gorgeous
                      20 million dollar bike."

Kevin and his friend gave chase; but aside from the initial 20mil price tag Kevin implemented some 2 billion in upgrades to not only make it the fastest bicycle on the planet, but also the only bike on planet earth that uses the stored kinetic energy to grow food for fat kids. In a recent global opinion poll the world unanimously said it was "The Coolest Bicycle Anyone Had Ever Owned."

With his bike alone and he powerless to do anything about it, Kevin hatched a plan. How many of you remember a movie called Pee Wee's Big Adventure? Great movie right? Yeah Kevin made that shit. Since Saturday he has worked tirelessly in BILFs state of the art "Time Travel and 4-Headed Shark Institute" The institute serves two purposes: to seek out the mysteries of time travel and to find ways to make sharks even deadlier. 72 hours later he had perfected time travel, went back in time and wrote, and directed the greatest movie about bike theft since DeSica's "The Bicycle Thief". Pee Wee's Big Adventure is in fact a semi-autobiographical film about the theft of Orangensaft. Even in his darkest hour, he giveth to the world.

How else can the most sensational, muppetational, dynamic bowling team in the history of the universe prove they deserve to be in 1st? They've gone 18-2 in recent weeks, produced a viral video about an Ugandan warlord, and agreed to star in an LA revival of CATS. So what else helps them prove how much they love their sloppy faced, dirty shirted, slack jawed fans? They grant them the power of madness, March Madness to be precise. In an agreement with the NCAA, BILFs are proud to announce that they, and their subsidiary organizations, are the sole sponsers of this years NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament. I believe the words you're looking for are "Thank" and "You".